In a move that has left the gaming community absolutely gobsmacked, CD Projekt Red has unveiled that their dystopian masterpiece Cyberpunk 2077 will not only be gracing Nintendo's Switch 2 but will come armed with Joy-Con 2 motion controls that might just revolutionize how we slice through corporate thugs in Night City. This bombshell was dropped during a recent developer diary that had gamers worldwide picking their jaws up off the floor.

Motion Controls That'll Make Your Arms Sore Tomorrow

The Polish gaming wizards at CD Projekt Red have confirmed that players will be able to physically swing their Joy-Cons to control melee weapons like katanas in the game. Just imagine - you're sitting on the bus, violently slashing your arms through the air while fellow passengers slowly edge away from you. Pure gaming bliss! This feature might extend to gyro aiming as well, though CDPR is keeping some cards close to their chest.

Adam Badowski, the game's director, could barely contain his excitement when revealing this feature, practically bouncing in his seat like a kid who's had too much sugar. 'We wanted players to feel like they're really in Night City, really swinging that katana,' he probably said at some point.

Technical Witchcraft or Corporate Propaganda?

Charles Tremblay, CDPR's VP of Technology, made some eyebrow-raising claims about the Switch 2 version's performance. According to him, the game will make full use of the console's LCD screen with variable refresh rate support, running at a smooth 30-40 frames per second. The audacity of this man to suggest that the Switch 2 will be 'the best way to experience the game on the go' has left Steam Deck owners clutching their portable devices in disbelief.

The game will offer two modes on the Switch 2:

• Performance Mode: For those who prefer their gameplay smooth as butter (well, slightly melted butter at 40fps)

• Quality Mode: For the pixel-peepers who want Night City looking its absolute prettiest

Cross-progression support means players can hop between platforms faster than a corpo rat jumps ship when the stock market crashes. Started on PC? Continue on Switch 2! Started on Switch 2? Take it to your Xbox! It's like they've finally figured out that gamers don't just own one device. Revolutionary stuff, folks.

Size Matters, Apparently

In what can only be described as a technological miracle (or a compression algorithm from the future), CDPR Engine Programmer Tim Green revealed that Cyberpunk 2077 will somehow squeeze its massive neon-soaked world into just 64GB on the Switch 2. For context, that's like stuffing an elephant into a Mini Cooper - technically possible but you're gonna lose some trunk space.

The physical edition will come on a standard cartridge rather than one of those fancy new Game-Key Cards. This means you can actually play the darn thing without needing to sacrifice your firstborn to the internet gods for a connection. What a concept!

The Future is Now, Choom

With the Switch 2 and Cyberpunk 2077 both dropping on June 5, 2025, gamers are faced with the horrifying prospect of having to choose between going outside during summer or spending countless hours indoors with a cybernetically enhanced Keanu Reeves. Tough choice, innit?

One can't help but wonder what this means for the future of gaming on Nintendo platforms. Will we see more mature titles making their way to the family-friendly console? Will Nintendo's next console after the Switch 2 come with full neural implants so we can literally become V? Only time will tell, but this writer is already saving up for those cybernetic eye implants, just in case.

In the meantime, prepare your wrists for some serious motion-control action. Night City awaits, and it's coming to a handheld near you. And hey, at least this time the game might actually work at launch. Maybe. Possibly. Who knows? That's the fun of gaming in 2025 - expectations are lower than Johnny Silverhand's opinion of corporations.

What's Next? Cyberpunk on Your Smart Fridge?

As we look toward the horizon of gaming's future, one can't help but ponder: where does this end? Will we be playing Cyberpunk 2077 on our smart refrigerators by 2030? Will our toasters run Doom? The line between reality and digital fantasy continues to blur, and frankly, that's exactly what the corpo overlords want.

But for now, we'll settle for swinging our Joy-Cons wildly on public transportation, looking like complete lunatics while we immerse ourselves in Night City. And isn't that what gaming is all about? Making yourself look absolutely ridiculous while having the time of your life.

The future is bright. The future is neon. The future is now, choombas.